the awakening.

For the past decade, I've been going through it.

It wasn't until I went to Belize (my very first time out of the country) that I had my also very first spiritual awakening so deep, I finally felt a shift in my life.

This trip was meant to be light-hearted. It was meant to be easy come, easy go.

Full moon in Scorpio. (I was so wrong)

I went to Belize for my friend's birthday; her wish was to swim The Great Blue Hole. We did just that.

Not only was I cooking at a slow pace, which resulted in a second-degree burn on my back, but I was also delving into something as profound as the ocean: the depth of my emotional awakening and my karmic connection to my ancestral lineage.

As we explored paradise by hopping on golf carts with the locals and swimming through coral reefs, my close friend and I would delve into our minds, discussing past traumas and how much we have evolved beyond toxic environments and relationships.

Upon returning from Belize, I experienced an emotional breakdown.

I recognized how much I had grown, yet it still seemed as though I wasn't living up to my full potential. Despite my great qualities, I often felt like I was not doing myself justice.

In romantic relationships, jobs, and even regarding my public image, it always seemed like I was giving more than I received, or I would tolerate disrespect for the sake of giving others the benefit of the doubt or.... peace.

So there I was at the airport in belize , rethinking all the growth I have done ever since 2023. But in reality, I had barely touched surface-level wounds. I felt a calling from the universe; it was time to ascend and rise through the ashes to become the phoenix.

The first thing I did was message my mom, telling her I wanted to attend a spiritual retreat in Mexico because I had some things I needed to let go of. My mom, a resilient warrior, naturally supported me, but she also pointed out that I should release the hurt she caused and the family dynamics. I reassured her that it wasn't about her or our family; I felt it was something deeper within me.

Here I am back in GA. Upon landing, I got a call from my ex-boyfriend's mom (he was still my partner then) asking where he was. He was supposed to take her out for dinner, which I knew because that's why he didn't pick me up from the airport. So, here I am at the airport trying to find an Uber because mine picked up the wrong person. Meanwhile, his mom and grandma are calling me nonstop, and I'm trying to locate him. I felt extremely anxious; he never answered. I ended up calling my mom, who checked our house cameras, and there he was at home. I felt so angry, not just for his mom and grandma but also because we were three women in his life who were continually disappointed and worried about his inconsiderate behavior.

I got home and didn't yell or anything. I simply asked, "Where were you? What happened?" He just replied, "Don't start, I fell asleep."

Once again, I felt dismissed.

A week passed, and as I was browsing Instagram, I noticed he was liking all the photos of his former best friend... ex-wife... on Instagram. That was the turning point.

I felt belittled, angry, and unappreciated, yet deep down, I knew it was my fault. I confronted him about this and the money he owed me.

He tried to turn the situation against me.

We broke up.

There I was, in silence but enlightened.

I no longer felt trapped in darkness and coldness.

Unseen and unheard.

Reclaiming my power.

Like a coward, he came and collected all his belongings from my house when no one was home. He didn't even leave the key.

So I sat there and wondered, what now? It felt like all my illusions had ended. I didn't feel sadness; I felt clarity, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

I delved deeper into inner soul work than I ever did in the Blue Hole in Belize.

I began exploring my mother and father's lineage, the karma we all bear.

My mother's wounds.

My father's wounds.

The energetic inheritance I carry. I spent a whole month learning more about myself, the patterns I inherited from my parents, dismantling old beliefs, old habits, removing what no longer aligned with me.

I realized that relationship was just a test for me.

I've accepted that I no longer settle for breadcrumbs in love.

Healing not just for myself, but for my ancestors who paved the way for me.

The chosen one.

The awakened one.

The light for them, myself, and future generations.

This is just a small part of my awakening. I'm just a girl with a deep, rich emotional and spiritual life. Outside, I appear nonchalant, a party baddie, and only close friends and loved ones know about my spiritual depth. However, I'm prepared to open up and share my inner world with everyone.

-Yarlette, xoxo.